AKU ANAK KEDUA

                                                                

             anak kedua,apakh ini sebabnya,apakah ini masalahnya.aku merasa di nomorduakan,semuanya yang

diutamakan kakak aku,semua yang di harapkan kakak aku pasti di kabulkan,kalo aku enggak,apa karena aku tidak sepintar kakakku.Aku merasa iri dengannya.dia ngin itu langsung di kabulkan.pernah aku coba,aku minta sesuatu kepada ortu,tapi hasilnya nol,malah dimarahi,huuh...dunia memng tak adil buatku.

                Tiap hari dan demi hari aku berfikir,dan bertanya "mengapa aku ditakdirkan jadi anak kedua..? ","aku bosan hidup kayak gini terus,".Tapi aku masih berkeyakinan bahwa ortuku adil dalam membahagiakan anaknya.Pada suatu ketika ada hal yang membuat aku tak percaya lagi akan keadilan.Waktu itu Handphone ku rusak,aku mauminta yang versi kesukaanku,agak mahalan sih,tapi aku enggak dikasih,aku dibelikan Handphone yang lain.Dan suatu ketika kakakku juga handphonya rusak,dia minta yang tipe dia suka dan tidak diragukan lagi,dia mendapatkanya.harganya jauh lebih malah dari handphone ku."itu tak adil namanya ",dalam hatiku berkata.

                Tapi aku menurut saja ,hilangkan fikiran yang jelek,berfikir positif.anggap aja itu adalah hal yang biasa.mungkin juga itu benar,dan mungkin saja itu salah.maaf jiak aku menulis seperti ini,tapi ini kenyataan,aku bukanya kecewa atautidak suka kepada ortu.tapi aku hanya mencurahkan isi hatiku ini.mungkin banya juga orang yang seperti aku.

Cintaku Diambil Sahabatku

          

      Pada waktu aku masih duduk di bangku smp kelas 2 ,aku menyukai seseorang,tiap hari aku memikirkanya,waktu tidur,waktu makan,dan sampai suatu hal aku berubah 180 derajat kepadanya tapi itu yang membuatku berubah, bukan karena si dia,tapi karena seseorang yang  tak pernah aku duga-duga,aku mau marah tapi aku tak bisa,sedih rasanya di dahului orang,temanku sendiri lagi

                Ceritanya berawal dari kegiatan kemah Akbar yang di selenggarakan sekolah,waktu itu aku melihat si dia sedang berbicara dengan temannya,hmm...dia mengalihkan duniaku,rasanya aku mau menyapanya,tapi aku tak berani,aku malu,aku takut kalo di depanya tak bisa berkata apa apa,Pada saat berangkat menuju ke tempat perkemahan aku naik truk sama dengan dia,pada saat itu aku disampingnya,mau bicara dengannya lagi lagi aku tak berani,yang membuat aku senang dekat dia adalah karena dia misterius,baik,ramah,aktif dan lainnya pokoknya prefect.

                Kegiatan demi kegiatan di perkemahan terasa cepat kalo bersamanya,3 hari terasa 1 hari saja,hmmm...rasanya mau sama dia terus.Setelah pulang kemah akbar kegiatan terasa hampa,liburan sekulah padahal,tapi malah mau sekolah terus,kayaknya karena si dia aku jadi semangat untuk hidup,sekulah dan lainnya.Suatu ketika temanku curhat kepada aku,dia menceritakan seseorang yang dia kagumi,tapi aku malah kaget dan curiga kepada temanku ini,kok yang di ceritakan mirip sama orang yang aku kagumi juga.Terus aku coba pancing temanku untuk kasih tahu tentang orang yang dikagumi,dan ternyata dugaanku benar.temanku sendiri juga mengaguminya."Aduh,..kok bisa terjadi  kejadian ini..".

                Setelah liburan usai ,dan ini hal yang dulu aku tunggu,tapi sekarang bukan,sekarang malah hari yang aku benci,aku sudah kalah cepat dengan temenku,ternyata dia udah duluan mengutarakan ke si dia.Hancurlah harapanku,hancurlah semangat hidupku.Yang lebih menyedihkan lagi,aku diundang sama temenku untuk merayakan hari jadiannya,di depanku sang penyemangat hidup sudah didekapan temanku,senag rasanya bisa melihatnya,dan sedih rasanya melihat dia dimiliki seseorang.

                Hari demi hari rasanya tak bermakna,hatiku yang terluka masih belum sirna,apalagi temanku selalu menceritakan pengalamannya dengan dia,ya.. sebagai teman sejati aku harus kuat walau sakit.

JANGAN DAN BILA

JANGAN DAN BILA

jangan kau cintai aku

bila kau tak cinta denganku

jangan kau sayangi diriku

bila kau tak sayang denganku

CINTA MONYET

CINTA MONYET

                Siapa yang tak kenal cinta monyet,banya orang menganggap cinta monyat itu adalah cinta asal asalan,Tapi menurut aku itu merupakan proses mengenal suka kepada seseorang,aku akan menceritakan pengalamanku tentang cinta monyet

                SD adalah awal dari mengenal cinta,di sekolah dasar aku adalah orang yang riang,suka bergaul,jahil pada orang dan masih banyak lagi.Pada suatu hari aku bermain dirumah seseorang yang spesial,tapi main hanya sekedar main aja,disana kami bermain petak umpet,lompat tali,sepak bola dan lainnya.Pada saat aku main rumah rumahan aku senang sekali,enggak tahu apa penyebabnya kayak ada sesuatu yang gimana gitu hehehe...

                Keesokan harinya dan kayak setiap hari aku semakin rajin kerumahnya,kayaknya aku itu merasa enak kalau disampingnya entah itu alasanya belajar klompok lah dan bermainlah.dan suatu ketika karena aku kelihatan dekat dengannya,para temanku menyorakiku,rasanya malu tapi juga senang.Aku dulu jga pernah surat suratan sama dia,asik juga rasanya.

                Suatu ketika saat kami tidak sekelas lagi ,kami jarang lagi bertemu dan tugas jaga semakin banyak,tambah lagi aku di ikutkan les sama orang tua ku.dan suatu hari aku relakan untuk bolos les untuk menemuinya,tapi aku bukan senang tapi malah sedih,ternyata dia mau pindah rumah."pindah..? .dihatiku bingung dan tidak bisa berkata.padahal dihari itu aku mau mengucapkan isi hatiku dan memberinya surat cinta pertamaku.

                Besoknya adalah saat dia sekolah denganku terakhirkalinya.dan aku berpesan untuk bertemu terakhir kalinya di tempat biasa.tepatnya sepulang sekolah aku menunggu di bawah pohon yang rindang dan pohon yang merupakan saksi bisu akan cintaku ini.dan saat itu tiba aku mengungkapkan isi hatiku tapi sayang dia tidak menjawabnya,dihanya bicara "aku masih belum bisa menjawabnya..","tapi bukan menolakmu..".Setelah itu dia langsung pulang,aku bingung,aku gusar dan sedih,Tapi aku berusaha untuk menerimanya

                Waktu begitu cepat,dan pagi juga begitu cepat,dimana saat disekolah aku hanya diam membisu seribu bahasa,sepulang sekolah aku dikasih surat,aku kaget dan tanya temenku,ternyata itu adalah suratnya dia,di halaman depan dia berpesan suruh buka surat itu di tempat yang kami sukai.Aku langsung bergegas untuk membuka itu.dan ternyata....aku dikasih jawaban sama dia.Tapi sayang dan sayang dia sudah tidak ada di sampingku lagi.

WALAUPUN SAKIT AKU KAN SELALU MENUNGGU

WALAUPUN SAKIT AKU KAN SELALU MENUNGGU

                Waktu itu,waktu dimana aku dan semua angkatanku mengadakan kumpul 

 bareng.dimana semuanya pada bersorak gembira,Namun aku hanya diam dan merasakan hal yang tak mengenaknan,lha gimana lagi cinta itu memang menyakitkan,aku yang selalu mengharapkannya, selalu setia menantinya,dan selalu memikirkanya tiba tiba aku merasa sakit,merasa sedih

                Aku ingin marah,tapi apa daya aku tak bisa,malam itu malam yang begitu indah dan malam yang begitu menyakitkan bagiku,aku senang bisa melihat dia,aku senang bisa bersamanya,Tapi malam itu merubah segalanya,di depan mataku dia bermesraan dengan orang lain,ohh...
hancurlah harapanku,hancurlah impianku.

                Semalam,rasanya seperti setahun,waktu begitu lambat,detik demi detik,menit demi menit aku bingung,mau apa aku,mau apa...dan seterusnya.paginya aku pulang ke kostku,dengan perasaan sakit,tapi aku pendam saja,aku lampiaskan di facebook semuanya,aku curhat kepada facebook

                Bicara facebook,aku jga teringan masalaluku yang suram,pada waktu itu aku dikenalkan sama temenku,orangnya sih yang dikenalkan baik,tapi aku salah menilainya,aku dikasih tau sama temenku yang lain ternyata dia udah punya pacar.aduh... "mengapa semuanya ini terjadi padaku..? ,"dan mengapa dia juga memberi aku kesempatan kalau begitu..?."apakah aku aku terlalu polos dipermainkan seseorang seenaknya saja..".Aku berfikir terus berfikir,"seandanya cinta tidak ada,bagaimana ya..?" mungkin di dunia tidak ada sakit hati."tapi jika tidak ada cinta dunia juga tidak terasa indah.

                Sampai hari inipun aku masih menunggu cinta sejati yang tidak tahu kedatangannya kapan ,entah dia tidak akan datang sampai aku menutup mata.Tapi aku akan selalu berusaha untuk mencarinya.

death

Let me lay in my sleep,
kerana soul has been possessed by love,
and let me rest,
This inner kerana have all the wealth night and day.

Light the candles and burn incense scent nan around the bed,
and sprinkle the body with perfumes of jasmine and roses.
Minyakilah puspa hair with incense and spread the legs with perfume,
and read the sign of death that has been written on the forehead is clear.

Biarku rest in this bed,
kerana both eyes have been very tired;
Let's poems bergetaran coated silver and soothe my spirit;
Fly the strings of the harp and uncover the veil of my heart lara.

Sing the days past as you look at the dawn of hope in my eyes,
kerana meaning ghaibnya so soft as cotton bed where my heart lay.
Wipe away your tears, my brother;
and Establish the head like the flowers sow their fingers crown welcome dawn.

Look at the Death standing like columns of light between the distance infiniti bed;
Hold your breath and listen for flutter flutter its wings.
Approach me, and say goodbye to me.

Kiss my eyes with a hint of a smile.
Allow the children to stretch her ​​tiny hands to me with their pink fingers tenderness;
Let the period laid his hand gently on my forehead and blessed me;
Let the virgins approached and saw the shadow of God in my eyes,
and hear the echoes of his Iradat running with my breath.

tomorrow never come

Turns out I do love her. Every night I think about it, and now I feel sure that this feeling is just for him. The more I know him, though I can not be separated from him again. Michelle, I really admire you. The figure is so simple. Well, the reason for that is what makes me not dare to continue the sense of this. I, a computer business owner who is quite well known, could not fall in love with an ordinary girl like her. I am a graduate of a PTN S2 famous in Jakarta could not be with the girl who just graduated from high school. I continued my studies achieving all-time career until now, no serious intention may be to the son of a roadside stall owners like him. 6 months or more I keep on thinking that. Really, I could not be with him. What if the world said I was going out, and finally tied the knot with her unequal to me? And I'm sure I can dispel that has actually grown since the first meet him, at his father's shop. Until this day arrives. My confidence wavered. Well, it turns out all wrong prediksiku. I can not forget, for a moment. Especially lately. Do not know what made me so admired among the other girls. There are many options for me, my level girl, smart, career, from a respected family, but I could never choose. There was no one capable gadispun time-consuming and mind like Michelle. I admit that a year ago I never intended seriously with one branch office branch office managerku in Surabaya area. He was smart, disciplined, loyal, and most importantly, he also intends to serious with me. But I also do not understand why all of a sudden feeling that we lost it after getting to know each other, and finally I let him marry a business partner banks staff. Yep, the term, I became a matchmaker for people who said I care about. Strange is not it? Finally, after I know Michelle, I know the answer. I just admire it, not love. And I feel different with Michelle. Although previously there are a lot of denial and rational thinking of my feelings to him, in fact, I admit it now. I'm in love!***At that time I saw him helping an old woman crossing the street was very crowded. For some reason all of a sudden I stopped the car and decided to follow it. Turns out he then went on a roadside stall not far from where I stood looking at him. My eyes continue to follow it. He was busy serving customers. With deft hands she cleared the table, take orders, accept payments from buyers, occasionally wiping the sweat dripping from his forehead. Without realizing it, almost two hours I was there looking at him. And it goes on until one week. I remained standing there, until on the eighth day pengintaianku, I decided to eat at the shop. A difficult decision because previously I never ate at the roadside. I include people who are very careful with food. But then finally I went in too, and start choosing what food would I eat. He came, offers a menu mainstay stall. I followed his advice, coconut ice and Tripe soup but without the rice, because I'm not used to filling up on in the morning. He passed, serving My Order with the help of a middle-aged man who finally I know as her father. When he came back with My Order, I really do not understand what made me desperate to do this. He was ordinary, nothing interesting glimpse of his face. Until now I saw him smiling at her father when they were busy joking. Once familiar. Stall was still quiet, because maybe it's too early. And I deliberately chose this time so I could find an answer for the conduct anehku this week. Finally, I find. Kesahajaannya, enthusiasm, confidence, friendliness, his smile as well. I'm fascinated by him. Until many months I always have breakfast at the shop, get acquainted with his father. Talking about light chatter about current topics that made headlines in the newspapers, to tell you about his family. It turned out that Michelle's father open mind person, insightful, and very wise to address a problem. I never made awkward. Of ordinary conversation, until a serious problem regarding my future I'm talking to him. Not infrequently, Michelle also interrupted when he was busy serving customers. Responding to his father talk like that sometimes are interspersed with jokes. I seemed to feel so close to them, in addition to other feelings that I felt increasingly thrives on Michelle. But like what I said before, I did not dare to admit that this is the feeling of love, just because of social status and Michelle are very simple circumstances. But this morning, after a night I was thinking hard, I'll change it. Well, I was steady on my choice. I already knew a lot about the background of Michelle. His study of brain stuck not because Michelle was unable to, but because he succumb to her sisters. Not continue the study did not make Michelle stopped learning. Much as he knows, including computer problems. His curiosity is very high, making me more and can not take off his charm. Well, just unfortunate circumstances for him. And now, I'd love to make her happy. Stop thinking about a living for his family. Because I'm sure I could menafkahinya, outwardly and inwardly, including sending her siblings. I am more stable with this decision. Immediately kupacu Soluna metalikku green with erratic heart. This time I intend parked in front of the stall Michelle's father, so she was sure I could provide for the material. During this time I did not introduce myself to become president of a computer parts company with many branch offices throughout Indonesia. All they know I'm just a self-employed who are pursuing a career. I do not intend to lie to them, it's just that I'm interested in their sincerity and friendliness to everyone, no matter their social status. And it becomes a proof to me, that they, especially Michelle was oriented on the status and material if know someone, in contrast with people who had been near me. After that I will soon turn up, but oops! I almost hit an elderly grandmother who stumble across. Luckily, I quickly mastered the situation until my car could be stopped at the curb before he could hit a large banyan tree on the side of the road. Huff! I drew a sigh of relief. I went out, just want to know the circumstances, the old grandmother. But he seems okay, maybe just a little bit surprised. But there were plenty of people who come and help him, including Michelle. He immediately embraced the old grandmother before she screamed loudly. I'm surprised to see it. Grandma was fine, even now can stand without the help of Michelle. But Michelle kept staring at my car with tears in his eyes. Also I heard him softly calling my name. Then came the father of Michelle, Michelle saw the situation and calm. There segulir tears falling down her cheeks. I do not understand. Soon I approached Michelle, I want to marry that girl. I can not stand it cried like this. But if he did not see me, ran up to my car. Apparently there are many people around my car, pulled the body of a young man covered in blood from the front seat of my car. I'm surprised, and walked over. Seeing Michelle who still continued to cry, also his father. Then I saw that face, full of blood, but I can still recognize it. She is me

I Want to Love With Simple

I looked at the calendar, located on the table in disgust. Saturday, March 30, 2002, the birthday of our third wedding. And for the third time anyway Aa 'forget. First birthday, Aa 'forgotten because they have a meeting with the directors to resolve some financial issues. As finance director, Aa 'is obliged to resolve the issue. Okay, I understand. The issue was indeed quite complicated.Second birthday, Aa 'to leave town to do a presentation. His work made him forget. And having to apologize, when I expressed annoyance, he calmly replied, "Brother, after all I've proved my love throughout the year. The day was not celebrated it's okay. Love do not need a ceremony ... "Now, early in the morning he was saying goodbye to the office because they have to set up some meetings document. He left when I was in the bathroom. I purposely did not remind him about our wedding anniversary. I want to test it, whether he remembers or not this time. In fact? I took a deep breath.Wonder, what is hard to remember his own wedding anniversary? I snorted irritably. Aa 'is different with me. He is calm and not expressive, much less romantic. Thus, there was never any interest on the special moments or a poem written on a piece of pink paper as is often imagined while before I get married.As for me, expressive and romantic. I always give her a gift with sweet words every day of his birthday. I also do not forget to say dozens of times a word I love you every week. Sending a message, via sms poetry even when he was out of town. Anyway, for me love should be expressed clearly. Because clarity is also part of love.I know, if I loved Aa ', I must accept it as is. However, the cook does not want to change and learn? Did I not teach him to be more romantic? Ah, just the point I'm pissed. And all became unpleasant for me. I'm grumpy. Aa 'so it really sucks in my eyes. I start counting the time and attention he gives to me within three years of our marriage. No relaxing weekend. We rarely had time to go out for dinner out. Leisure time is usually spent sleeping during the day. So I manyun himself almost every day of the week and could only look at him sweetly snoring in bed.Taste kesalku increasingly become. Moreover, our relationship this week it was not good. We were both tired. The work that piled up at each of our duty to make us meet in a house in a state are equally tired and irritable with one another. Be, we fought a few times this week.Actually, today I've emptied all my activities schedule. I want to be alone with him today and do fun things. Properly, this Saturday it off. But, that Aa '. It was hard to leave her job, even on weekends like this. Perhaps, because we do not have children. So he does not feel the need to spend some time on the weekends like this."Hen, you sure you want to accept the proposal A 'Ridwan?" Diah my friend looked at me strangely. "My brother's baseball romantic, you know. Unlike the romantic husband often you'd think. He was the kind of man whose hobby is seriously hard work. Good hell, pious, faithful ... But baseball humorous. Anyway, life as he was flat. Routine and boring. It contained just work, work and work ... "Diah connect length. I just smile just at the time. Aa 'was asking my willingness to accept the proposal by Diah."Are you really so, anyway? Nah ya happy if I were brother-in-law? "I asked, frowning. Diah saw me laugh. "Well, like this house will not be served. Most abandoned the same A 'Ridwan. "Diah giggled. "You do not know my brother, anyway!" But, whatever Diah said, I have determined to accept the proposal Aa '. I'm sure we can adjust to each other. Yet he was a good man. That was more than enough for me.The first weeks after our marriage does not mean a lot of problems. Like a new bride, Aa 'trying romantic. And I'm happy. However, all ended when the sabbatical ends. He was soon struggling with her own busy life, seven days a week. Almost no time left for me. My story enthusiasts often only ditanggapinya with um, oh, so yes ... IBHS dozing while hugging bolsters. And, I have many hours waiting to tell you then lose their appetite to continue the story.That ... I'm trying to understand and accept it. But this morning, to her annoyance really peaked. I consent to the mother's home. I sent him a short sms. I wait. One hour later I received an answer. Sorry, I'm in a meeting. Be careful. Hail to Mother. There you go. See. In fact it took an hour to reply smsku. Meetings, presentations, financial statements, that rivals that grabs the attention of my husband.I went directly to my room now occupied by former sister Riri. Kuhempaskan my body in disgust. I was just going to close my eyes when I heard the faint knock on the door of my mother. I got up lazily."Why Hen? There is a problem with Ridwan? "Mother opened the conversation without preamble. I nod. Mom was never fooled. He always managed to guess the telling.Although initially faltered, I finally talked to my mother too. My eyes filled with tears. I spilled annoyance to my mother. Mother smiled to hear my story. He stroked my hair. "Hen, maybe all this is wrong Mothers and fathers who pamper you. And you were disturbed by the attitude of your husband. Try, think carefully Hen. What Ridwan shortage? He was a good husband. Loyal, honest and hardworking. Ridwan was never rough with you, diligently worship. He was also kind and respectful to my mother and father. Not all husbands like him, Hen. Many people who dizholimi husband. Na'udzubillah! "Said Mother.I was speechless. Well, it really does what it says Mom. "But Mom, he's completely outrageous. Cook your own wedding anniversary three times forgotten. After all, he's had absolutely no time for me. I'm his wife, bu. Not just part of household furniture which need only be visited once in a while. "I'm still upset. Although deep down I justify what she said.Yes, besides properties is less romantic, exactly what the lack of Aa '? Almost none. Actually, he tried his best to membahagiakanku in his own way. He always encouraged me to increase knowledge and broaden wawasanku. He also always encourage me to be more diligent in worship and always be kind to other people thought. Problem loyalty? There is no doubt. Diah one office with him. And he always talked to me how Aa 'attitude toward female colleagues in the office. Aa 'is never serve who do not call Anita also bored flirting and asking her out. And if you want, with the appearance which is always neat and cool as it is not difficult for him attract the attention of the opposite sex."Hen, if you feel like it's moody, Ridwan is not really a problem. The issue is only one, you lose a sense of gratitude ... "Mom said calmly.I looked at Mom. Mother Words really menohokku. Yes, Mom was right. I lost my sense of gratitude. Is not that just two weeks ago I persuaded Ranti, one of my friends who are stressed because her husband had an affair with another woman and is very rude to him? Did not I who took her to a doctor to treat bruises in several parts of her body because her husband was beaten?Slowly, guilt arises in my heart. If it is I want to spend time with him today, why I did not say ahead of time so that he can manage jadualnya? Did not I could remind him nicely that I wanted to go alone with him today. Why did I not try to tell him that I wanted him to be more romantic? That I feel left out because of busy life? That I was afraid no longer loved?I quickly said goodbye to Mom. I rushed home to clean house and prepare a romantic dinner at home. I did not tell him. I want to make a surprise for him.Dinner is ready. I prepare food craze Aa 'complete with a series of red roses on the dining table. Seven in the evening, Aa 'is not back. I waited patiently. Nine hours a night, I just received smsnya. Sorry I'm late home. My job is not finished. Food on the table is cold. My eyes are heavy, but I'm still waiting for him in the living room.I awoke with a start. O Allah, I fell asleep. I glanced at the clock, 11 o'clock at night. I got up. Bunch of red roses lay on the table. Beside him, lying on greeting cards and tiny jewelry box. Aa 'was fast asleep on the carpet. He has not opened his tie and socks.I took it and opened a greeting card. Poem made me smile.I want to love you with a simpleThrough word that did not get deliveredCloud the water that makes noI want to love you with a simpleWith no time to spoken wordWood to the fire that made ashes. *