I looked at the sticky middle of the body lying asleep beside me. Strapping and handsome, unblemished. The body is very familiar, which has been in my side for 10 years of my life. The body of a very loved, who became the father of my children.
My mind through time, remembering a time when the college first. Who never heard the name Yudhis. Medical students from state universities, chairman of the senate, Rohis activists, cadres Campus Propagation Institute, and the multitude of other positions.
Who ever did not know him on campus. Yudhis often appeared in public. Berorasi amazing cleverness. Arouse passion and riveting to hear it.
I felt very familiar Yudhis. Our one-armed and often work together in many activities and committees. Several times Yudhis become chairman and I as a secretary. It is common knowledge that Yudhis lot of fans. His fans are from diverse walks of life. Of girls hanging out to activists, one angakatn, until the younger classes, sefakultas or not. Yudhis had tremendous charisma. Soft-spoken and polite, his face shining white. Another plus is its IP activity remained high despite bejibun.
Undergoing many joint activities and high-frequency interaction between the two of us, secretly make me as one who was among the ranks of the fans of the dark. Sympathy began to grow from the seed is buried deep into my heart. Let him buried there and nobody knew.
Me and Yudhis, we both know, there is no word in the vocabulary of our courtship. Moreover, we are in a container construction. No matter how small "taste" that was pushed, as soon as I get rid of.
Sometimes it is difficult for me to control the turbulent heart. Being at the age that has been enough to recognize the word "love". Being on time when in the same world community has knowingly with romantic relationships among college students.
It never occurred to me to be dating at all. Since childhood, my father has instilled a hard and true education. Protect their daughters from any possibility of libel.
But this heart. Uhh, I could not lie to myself that I liked Yudhis. Yudhis attention to me? Ah yes? I tapped my cheek to wake himself from keterlenaan moment. Yes, indeed Yudhis attention to me, but also attention to the other. A leader is required for attention to his men. No wonder she is often contacted to discuss various issues in our activities.
I was behind the cabinet secretariat, was busy clearing the files Studies Forum. At that time secretariat quiet, just me alone. Suddenly there was a conversation from behind the closet. I could not see who they are. They did not realize there is a pair of ears behind the closet.
"Nur, you know what? Kak Yudhis attention to me really. I do not look at the meeting just once, he immediately called me! "Exclaimed the first voice.
"Wow, you lucky Mel. Yudhis Kak's cute, clever, rich again. Not bad, but let Kijang latest release tablets. "Voice to the two said.
"To me he's perfect really. You see it was how he looked at me. Continued to smile. Bo sweet! "
"Indeed if I perhatiin, Kak Yudhis no feeling with you. But a lot of Mel's rival. Not know who wrote that had a crush on him. Daughter, Heni, Sinta. Not to mention the armed brothers. "
"To hell with them. The important thing Kak Yudhis like me. "Tucked GR tone of his voice.
Not that I mean to eavesdrop, but the dialogue was tersimak by itself. From his voice I could recognize them. Younger level, 3 force under me. It was not wrong even when he feels GR. Sometimes it is too dispersive Yudhis charm. Repeatedly I heard the brothers advised him on this issue. Yudhis finally realized that his charisma has led to many hearts that fell lying. And he began to build up the distance.
Now the male body with the status of my husband's move. Stretched slowly. Then still snoring gently. I studied her face. Mancungnya nose down to the second fruit of our love, Ghazali and Sabila. Said many people, Ghazali is a copy of his father's.
I noticed my husband's red lips. Somewhat unusual is a male red-lipped. I remember when those lips give the oath of allegiance. Mitsaqan ghalizha, an agreement very tegung in God's eyes. How steady he say in our consent granted. Remember it had shot a sense of emotion. Making small drops rolling down my cheeks.
*****
That afternoon my mom and dad I was chatting on the patio while menyamil mother's cake.
"Child, now what are you planning next?" Dad still calls me a 'Nduk', a call against girls in the Java language. "PTTmu're done. You want to choose another college to take a specialist or want to get married? "
My forehead frowned. Marriage? "Marriage Well? Want to get married at whom? No candidates for ya! "
"Remember Bram, his son Om and Tante Rono? Once a child often played with you. "
Ronodipuro family, gentry and still have a big business. Their families are friends with my family. I remember too small Bram often seize and destroy the toys. I remember a sign nodded his head.
"Now that Bram had become Branch Manager at the company her father. He also has automotive business. Workshop and site modifications. Father yesterday to get there. Quite large, customers are also a lot like him. "
"Auntie Rono often chatted same mother. He wanted to find wives for Bram. He said already looking everywhere no one suitable. Eh after you meet a few times and talking to you like yesterday, he said the choice fell into your child. "She explained, pouring from the teapot into a cup father's empty. "Auntie Rono was seneng you know with you. He says you fit in Bram's wife. "
"Oooo.begitu," I said.
"What child?" Asked the father.
"Well, what Dad?" I asked again.
"You want what?"
"Ihhhh father. Can not be answered now dong! Should think of it, should istikharah. Meet at least once. Not necessarily directly Bram also want it Well. "
Finally came the meeting. Om Rono, Tante Rono, and Bram came to our house promptly at seven in the evening. After a bit of small talk in the living room, we had talked at the dinner table, trying to familiarize between the two families.
Bram has not too much different from the small Bram. Beauty that has been seen in childhood are now increasingly showing its perfection. His appearance with elegant clothes of famous brands. Also smell the sweet aroma emanating from her body. Alamak, I muttered to myself, I just never perfumed, except if you want to pray.
During the conversation that I had not felt comfortable. For some reason. When it comes to physical problems, Bram was like a sitcom actress. But names are not comfortable, it is not comfortable. Things like this do not be pushed.
Amid the fun chatting, Om Rono suddenly spoke in a loud, "Bram had to have a wife like Arni. So he can learn a lot about religion and no longer wander into the café until morning. "
Everything fell silent. Tante Rono and Bram show facial upset to hear the words Om Rono. I, father, and mother also shocked. Mother tried to lighten the atmosphere a bit cold so by offering asparagus soup to us all.
Oopss, apparently this child Bram café. No wonder, too, visible from his style. After coming back they are from our home, my father said it would seek further information about Bram. How's life and her social.
Uncle and Aunt Rono quite pious. But today's parents can not serve as a standard for kesholehan a child. Kyai child is not necessarily so kyai. Children robber robber is not necessarily well.
I resigned, pleading to God be the best match for me. I believe that He has promised in his word Surah An-Nur 26, "The women are for vile men are cruel. And women who are good for is a good man too. "
If Bram is not jodohku, surely God will show you the way, and so did otherwise.
The news that just came from Tante Rono own. Not from anyone who spread gossip. Nor from Toni, my cousin who's father was given the task to find out about Bram.
Rono aunt visited her home in tears and then pour out his heart in the mother. "Jeng, had my heart broken. Want to put where the face and Ronodipuro family honor. "Tante Isaac Rono uncontrollably. "It's unruly son Bram. But I did not expect everything to be like this. I think we've tried to educate her properly. "
Mom calm, rubbing shoulders Tante Rono. "Calm down Mbakyu. The patient. Indeed, what is it tho?! "Suddenly she cried even be unstoppable. I got handed a tissue to the Aunt Rono.
"Bram was Jeng .. dia.dia.dia.menghamili secretary!" After keterbata-bataannya, Tante Rono continued crying. "She was demanding to be married. We could not refuse. "
"Astaghfirullahaladzhim!" I said and mother simultaneously.
This is true answer from God. Bram is not jodohku. I looked at the Tante Rono sank. Pity, would receive a heavy burden to impregnate his flesh and blood reality of people's children out of wedlock. Hopefully Bram truly repentant and willing to improve himself.
"I'm really bad at Jeng, at Arni," Auntie said Rono after the tears subsided. "Though the plan was about to resume. I was hoping once we can besanan. Bram Arni can certainly lead to the better. "
"Never mind Mbakyu. We're not okay. Our family will continue to be a family friend Mbakyu. Hopefully this is the best mate Ed. Mbakyu resilient yes! "
Cancellation of an arranged marriage between me and Ben did not give any impact on my life. I keep asking the Lord my soul mate is the Hearer.
Less than a month later, with the unexpected-dross, behold the family to my house. They have only one purpose, proposed to me.
One afternoon on Sunday, 10 years ago, a group of families came. I, the father and mother shocked absurdly. We do not think will ever come with an army of people with cars lined up suddenly were neatly parked in front of the house. Two days earlier Yudhis was called. He said he was going to my house this Sunday. But who think like this. I thought he was just a friendship or any particular interest.
With little ado, Yudhis parents convey their intentions for the proposal. Mugged so I could not move. The flowers in my garden was fragrant, after so long buried are now blooming.
Father, mother and family all love the Yudhis. Of course! What else is less than a Yudhis? Handsome, intelligent, wealthy, and pious. Yudhis father also a successful entrepreneur, although slightly below the Om caliber Rono.
Yudhis is the perfect figure of the intangible tangible. Which led her to make proud. Pleasant conversation. No embarrassing for parents who make it law. And will surely be a husband who could guide me, I can understand, and become a leader in the household. Who was who could refuse Yudhis?
Seen my parents fell in love with Yudhis. But the father still leave the decision to me, because I'm the one who will undergo a marriage. I was silent when asked.
"Arni said nothing, means yes. So do Mr. Margono? "Said the father Yudhis. My father just nodded.
"Sorry," I turned toward Yudhis, "could not immediately say yes or no. Give me a chance to consider and pray istikharah. "
"Oh monggo, go ahead. If Arni takes time, just to say approximately how long will consider this proposal and when it will provide answers. But not for long. Kasian Yudhis you know ...! "Yudhis father replied, jokingly.
I was silent, confused about what to say. I myself do not know how long it took me to take this most important decision in my life.
"Tell you what, Mas, we both pray the all facilitated by Allah SWT. Later when Arni was able to decide, I will contact Mas Permadi. How Mas? "Said the father.
Yudhis father glanced at Yudhis. Yudhis nodded slowly. "Well sir Margono, if so. Well, it should be things like this marriage is in no hurry to answer it. We did not expect an answer right now. At least we have a relationship, add brother. We also want to know Arni closer, also Mr. and Mrs. family. Because, frankly, we were also surprised. Yudhis is not no wind no rain there, before I know ask me and mama to apply. Though I've never seen it Yudhis courtship. LHA is willing to marry the same boy who tho? Most candidates do not have to be introduced first, invited to play back home. Mingling at a big family. Seen seeds, ancestor, weights. And it's not straight-Mungkin Mungkin this, use the time. But Yudhis insistent, he says the system is not so, no dating-courtship. Well finally we consulted with the families for coming today. We are just getting a little picture of a family of Arni and Yudhis. So we were delighted to meet with Mr. sekeluaga. We apologize if we bother coming. "
"Well not really Mas, absolutely no hassle. Lha seneng even really visited this big family. "He smiled Yudhis fathers who responded to the narrative length and width. "We hope Yudhis willing to wait for a response from Arni. And whatever we ask the answer will not make a bad taste among us all. Hopefully can still continue to stay in touch ya ... Mas! "
That night I told my best friend coming to Yudhis family who is also a college with me and Yudhis first. According to him, from reliable information, Yudhis had been like me since college. Oh, that's why he always chose to be a secretary? He said, when the news I'll courted by Bram reached her ears, Yudhis frenzy. And finally without ba bi bu he immediately came to apply.
Finally, Yudhis got me to the altar. How proud I was biting him. The activists who didamba many girls. And in fact I'm the one who got it, after getting rid of a lot of rivals in the liver Yudhis. I found the jealous and envious eyes of several friends and younger classes that I know never liked Yudhis, when they come to our wedding reception.
Our days later would have been very beautiful. Legit-lined body that sweetness is always there in every bite. There was no sorrow. No more anxious, depressed. All that is just happy and unhappy. Then the love we bear fruit. Ghazali was born and Sabila. It all adds to the sweetness of our love.
At the beginning of our marriage, I and Yudhis remain active in missionary work and social activities. Almost every night we spent with tahajud congregation.
*****
Now the tears were streaming down my cheeks. I sobbed silently. Staring at the handsome face remained calm sleep.
Ramadan ago, no longer we passed with great calm. No tarawih together. No recitations with the kids. If calculated, Yudhis only got 3 times breaking the fast at home. The rest of 27 days in which either break their fast. He always came home at night, Dawn even gentlemen, after people finish bersahur.
Several years ago, Yudhis busy, I was busy. As a heart specialist, Yudhis relatively young doctor who is quite popular. I was busy taking care of children, home, and practice in health centers. The bustle we make no longer active and are bound by a previous missionary activities we wrestled. Ropes that had been fortified, one by one began to break up.
Early in his career, Yudhis often told me he missed a few times when I'm praying there is time-consuming operation hours, from time to time praying another prayer. I'm always reminded that he was always praying on time.
"If another operation which could be left behind," said Yudhis as I call it. "The time for prayer can not be left a little while?" I said.
"You do not get any kayak. If left to his patient might die. Later the patient's family demands and accused of malpractice. Well, it's an emergency, okay right? "Said Yudhis lightly. At first he considered an emergency, but the umpteenth time when there was no emergency, the more he thought lightly. I'm surprised by his attitude is very easy to oversimplify the prayer.
Whether, when and how to start, Yudhis started home that night outside the hospital schedule. However, I fully believe him. And as a good wife I'm trying to not ask many questions of all sorts. Yudhis began to have its own community in its environment. Communities are very different from our community college first.
Our worship is very crisp. Yudhis mengimamiku lazy. If he was tired, I was told to pray alone. Qiyamullail moreover, been a long time we left. Tired! As soon as is always the reason. Relationships in bed also affected. Everything so dry, without the spirit. Through it like a routine and duties alone.
Fruit of our love began to grow and begin to misbehave. I'm often overwhelmed face it alone. If I talk to Yudhis, he replied, "Well it's your responsibility as a mother. You can not educate kids anyway? My job was looking for money! "
He must have forgotten the content of sermons at our wedding first marriage. "Educating children is the duty of both parents, both mothers and fathers. My father is a priest should be a good captain for the Big Dipper household. Basics of education must be under the direction of the father. "
Sometimes I can be patient with Yudhis, but sometimes we also had a big fight. Yudhis more often go above 1 am. When I called to rumas sick, answered when Yudhis gone home and there is no schedule that required him to go home early. Even so I kept saying to myself, everything runs smooth, everything is ok.
No matter what time he got home, I'm still trying to serve him. Starting from make him tea, coffee or hot milk. Or prepare hot water if he wanted a shower. Any Secapek me, I try my best to welcome him with a smile.
Yudhislah usual disheveled home with face and red eyes. Without a smile. Only orders that came out of her red lips. Sometimes he was being nice. But that's only if he wants to vent his passion to me. I do not want a wife who cursed by the angels until the morning. The duties of a wife trying kutunaikan well.
Long nights, when waiting Yudhis home, often I filled with prayers tahajud. I begged God to open hearts back somewhat Yudhis and provide a good destiny for our family.
"Arni, I've got news ya! But you do not be surprised yes. You believe it just me? It's about Yudhis, "the voice of Toni, my cousin, came in HPku. I nodded even know he would not see anggukanku.
"I saw your husband several times. The first time I saw him again at lunch woman whose hair was dyed reddish Chopstix Pondok Indah Mall. Not far from where your husband's practice. "
Toni continued, "Not only that, I had your husband's stalker to several places. Afterhour, D's Place, Barbados. "
"Oh yes?" I said flatly.
"You're really not surprised?" Said Toni.
"Surprised? So what? "I asked, confused.
"Arni! It's a place tuh clubbing, here's the kicker? "Said Toni.
"Du ... gem?"
"You know the world's sparkling. Afterhour the bar and billiards place. That two such well again, same thing. I see Yudhis same girl with her own eyes. Believe me, he drank, took to the floor, hug-hug with someone's ass Caucasians. "Tone Toni fiery voice full of emotion.
I do not believe it, muttered bathinku. But inevitably, the hand is trembling holding HP. "You're the wrong people might Ton. People who like Yudhis. "
"One person how. Obviously, so too! I'm Seeing him about 1 malem passed. He often does not exist at home if not the hours that much? "
I flinched. Yes, indeed Yudhis often go home the morning, and he obviously does not currently work in hospitals. But ... to play billiards, drink, cuddling with a woman ...? It's hard to believe this heart.
Today, just now, all the questions that wrestle in my heart and everything Yeng revealed the secret during this width. Yudhis telling the truth to me that he loved another woman, wants a divorce from me and would marry her. DUARRRRRRR !!!!!! It feels like my heart was thunderstruck. I'm giddy.
"Only this time I really fell in love. Sorry, since I never felt loved you Arni. I want to divorce you! "Lips said coldly, as if he was talking with a wife who had been with him ten years. How could he admitted to not love me. Everything is so sweet. I can not believe he said that.
"Yudhis, realize what you just said? You just drop the divorce! "
"That's the way do I want. Lately I feel so alive. Passionate and loving. I was happy with the Meta. We take care of a divorce as soon as possible. Tomorrow we are to the Court of Religion. "The words were cold. "This afternoon I'm going to move. Now I want to ride a nap. On the couch out here is also okay. I'm tired! "
"Mas, is it true you used to go clubbing places?" I ventured to ask.
"Hahhhh?! How do you know? "Shouted Yudhis.
"Toni. He said a few times you see. Was with women and drinking. "
"Hmmm, so far so you sent your cousin's spy huh?! Yes. The Toni not mistaken. Ohhh ... no wonder I felt ever seen him. "
"Why does Mas you to places like that?" I asked, holding my tears are about to explode.
"Ah you know anything about a place like that. I was happy there. And what is your business. We're divorced, you do not have the right to intervene again. It's my life know? "
"Good heavens Mas, Mas seek forgiveness, seek forgiveness ... you forget yourself again Mas! Be quick to repent "
"... IS STILL !!!!" Hhhahhhhhhh Yudhis rough barked as he threw his body on the couch located in the living room. Not long after soft snoring sounds.
I cried so Yudhis closed cornucopia. Never imagined before Yudhis will be like this. The perfect man for some people who knew him. Yudhis, who as a youth never knew places like that. Yudhis, which used to be always wet his lips with a remembrance. Yudhis, which always keep the ablution, would not touch with a woman other than mahram. Yudhis, once the environment is always good people.
But now? When the environment changes, he also changed. To be human is 180 degrees move to the other side of the world. Who would have thought.
I cried, burying my face into the pillow. Ghazali hugged me from behind. "Mama, why cry?"
"I do not really care. No papa, "I wiped the tears that berurai. O Allah, then how Ghazali and Sabila fate without his father. I do not think sangup again.
In the prayer rug, I complained to my Lord that his servant heareth the midst of adversity. I also realize not all of it was a mistake Yudhis, I'm sure there have contributed. I too loved him, adored him. Even my love for him may exceed the love of God. Maybe this is God's warning to me, who often forget Him. What makes my love of creatures beyond everything.
One episode of my life have I spent trying to stay in His ways. Long ago, I decided to get married with Yudhis based istikharah. At that time I was pleased with his religion. As the Prophet Muhammad a message Majesty not to reject the proposal of a man whose religion was good. If not there will be fitnah on earth. With a variety of considerations that I'm accepting applications Yudhis. So am I wrong if it all ended like this?
There is no perfection for a human. Almighty God who Turning the hearts of men. My fault that expects perfection from Yudhis, who thought he was everything flawless. Yet every one never knows how to end his life.
I'm still alive and breathing. This is not the end of my life. I'm sure God must have had a better plan behind all the exams are given. Confusion and fear slowly disappear. I do not have to worry about my life, my children's future life. God was the one that guarantees my life. He will not abandon His servants.
This is the destiny predetermined by Him. And this is definitely the best for us all. Hopefully, God opened the hearts back Yudhis that has dark and return it to life first.
I looked more handsome face sitting across from me at this time. Later in the afternoon she would go from this house, moved into an apartment Meta, women who frequent clubbing with her on the spot. And the next day, we will to the Court of Religion, a divorce.
I cried still there, still despondent soul, but my heart is comforted by Him. One episode of living has gone through. When love must be over then life must continue. My little heart to ask, to whom I presented my love actually? To Yudhis or God. True love never ended. Melt wipe my tears
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